


On The Valley of Death

by LillianaNil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Hellatus, Mark of Cain, Season Finale, Season/Series 09, The First Blade
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-23
Updated: 2014-07-23
Packaged: 2018-02-10 01:31:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2005872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LillianaNil/pseuds/LillianaNil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Then It was utterly silent. The type where there was no sound, no presence. No darkness and no light. No beginning and no end. At that moment, Castiel knew without a doubt, that Dean had died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Valley of Death

**Author's Note:**

> My Musings on a different Death Scene for Dean. It is not Canon-Divergent. This is a Death!fic. Please Beware.

Castiel heard Dean’s prayer like a beacon in the middle of utter darkness. It was a silent whisper of pain and regret. It did not lead Castiel to where Dean was and was not a cry for help. It was a one way conversation; It was an outlet.

Castiel had been looking for Dean for a while now. Sam was searching for his missing brother through his own methods. Dean had been an outraged weapon, ready to nuke the whole universe. He had descended into a pit of darkness ignited by the Mark of the First Murder. He was a danger, not only to himself and those around him, but to the whole Universe. It was another apocalypse, brought on by the righteous man. Despite their continuous effort, they never got wind of where Dean was. He had simply vanished. 

Gone, as if he'd disappeared on the wings of the whispering wind.

He hadn’t killed any more people. He hadn’t asked anyone for help. He hadn’t said anything to either him or Sam. He had simply just left.

Castiel thought he understood the reasons behind Dean’s leave. He had left Dean alone for the same reason multiple times. It wasn’t a leave for Dean’s own sake, it was to protect those he cared about. It was not for selfish reasons brought on by the Mark, it was self inflicted because of the Mark and what it entailed. It didn’t ruin the whole world, it brought on the apocalypse to Dean’s own soul.

“Cas I can’t control it anymore. It’s this.. pit inside me.. and It just wants. It wants pain and death and torture and I can’t control it. It makes me want it too, but I don’t want it Cas ! I don’t ! – I'm a Monster, Cas. “

It was quiet for a while after that. Cas thought about letting Sam now about this new incident. But he didn’t. This was personal; Between Dean and him only. It was a personal confession of Dean’s sins, and he was obliged to listen and listen for the sake of absolution. It was covenant between two injured beings, a one way street to benediction.

“Cas what if it’s all me, and it has nothing to do with the Mark? I don’t want to become a demon Cas!”

Fear: bitter, sour and everlasting on the tips of Castiel’s tongue.

“It’s always demanding for more and I can’t control it. It feels good Cas. Killin' others makes me crave more. It fills the pit inside. It makes me feel good, even for just a moment. It makes me happy. I guess I don’t even know what it means to be happy anymore...”

“A monster, Cas. I’m not even poison anymore. I’m much, much worse. This was supposed to be a means to an end, Cas. I thought the end justified the means.. ya know… “

“It wasn’t the means to the end Cas.. It was the end. “

And wasn’t that their problem? That was it always lead to. It was their main fallacy; It was their point of fall, their main failure. They chose the means to an end, and brought on the end anyway.

“I’m only a man.. with a darkness inside me. I can feel it Cas. It’s gonna take over. Can’t let it take over. Can’t. “

Only human, Castiel mused. God created humans in His own Image. They were what they were meant to be. They were the warriors of Free Will, agents of Freedom and Liberty, even if they themselves didn’t exercise the virtues at times.

“I’m sorry Cas. For everything.”

“It’s gonna end now.. for good.”

“You know what’s funny? .. the supposed righteous man fell prey to the mark of the first murder. It sounds like a sick joke.. well.. the joke's on me. “

“Michael was right. Free will is an illusion. Lucifer was right too.. I altered the road, changed the path, but I ended up at the destination anyway, .. Maybe a bit worse for wear.. but I did.”

Were they? Were they right in their musings? Castiel supposes they could’ve been, but they had been proven wrong before, they could be proven wrong again. Nothing is written in stone. That much Castiel had learned over the years.

Then It was utterly silent. The type where there was no sound, no presence. No darkness and no light. No beginning and no end. At that moment, Castiel knew without a doubt, that Dean Winchester was Dead.

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me."
> 
> Psalm 23:4


End file.
